TED STRYKER

It’s hard to believe that it’s time for another KROQ Weenie Rosat.  12 great bands at Verizon Wireless AMP in Irvine.  I think I’m most excited to see The Strokes. I love the new album as much as the first three. I’m also curious to see what the boys from Linkin Park are going to do.

If I had any other job in the world, I may complain for 5 minutes that I have to work on my birthday.  Weenie Roast and The KROQ Almost Acoustic are my two favorite dates of the year so I do NOT mind for one second that I will be “Working” on June 4th.  I am the luckiest guy to be able to have this gig.

If there is some sort of a spanking machine, I’m in. shots? I’m in. High Fives? Maybe. Low Fives? Yes! See you Saturday.

Yes I’m quoting the great Ferris Buehler. Life does go really fast, and I know that I rarely stop and look around. I hope I’m not missing it.

I’ve spent the past 48 hours in Sedona, AZ, I don’t know if I’ve ever been in a more serene and peaceful place. By the way it’s crazy that I’m even using the word serene. I was born and raised in the middle of Los Angeles, there is no serenity there. I’m not sure the point of this post. I kind of feel like I’m on a really good drug, I feel emotion, love, peace, inspired and healthy. My prediction? This drug will wear off within 3 hours. My plan the rest of the day is this. Two and a half hour ride to the Phoenix airport, 80 minutes to Burbank, find the shuttle which will drive me to a huge parking lot to find my car. I will drive home, let the dog out (who let the dogs out who who), pet the dog, feed the dog, then jump in the car for a 125 mile drive to eat dinner. After dinner I’ll drive home and the past two days will be a blur. I just feel blessed I’ve been able to experience that past two days in Sedona. Thank you so much for reading this blog or any of the blogs I’ve been writing. My goal is one blog a day. Sometimes it may seem like my diary, sometimes just opinions and sometimes just random events going on in my life. Have a great Sunday everybody. Oh, one last thing, Falling Skies on TNT! First episode next Sunday, it’s really good plus the cast was amazingly nice to us radio nerds which makes me root for the show.

Dearest Chuck Lorre,

Wanted to let you know that in the history of your show Two and a Half Men (Up until May 1, 2011), I had never watched one episode. Not on CBS, not on FX, not on TBS, PBS or the Nature Channel, no where.  All that has changed Chuck but I’ll get to that in a minute.

Here’s the thing, I’m just a guy that talks on the radio, 106.7 The World Famous KROQ here in LA.  I don’t know who the behind scenes humans are on Two and Half Men (Especially since I never watched the show).  But I knew who you were Chuck  long before the Charlie Sheen stuff went down. My mailman, or possibly mailwoman, screwed up well over a year ago.  By the way, if my mail person is reading this, sorry I have never introduced myself, and while I’m at it,  shout out to my garbage man, thanks for the work every Thursday at 645 am. 

After throwing away the Bed Bath and Beyond save 15% junk mail (Sorry Bed Bath and Beyond, I’m good on sheets and shower curtains), I noticed a magazine called Produced By.  Who was this man on the cover I had never heard of and why did I have this magazine called Produced By in my mail box?  The answer is my mail person messed up, so, I did what any good neighbor would do, I kept the magazine and said I’ll put it the neighbors mailbox later (Never did, sorry neighbor).

Anyways, the man on the cover was you Chuck Lorre.  I was fascinated by your work ethic, knowledge of music, song writing skills and TV “Producing” work.  I have trouble getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth, and doing a radio show everyday, DUDE, you’re responsible for like 9 huge shows on TV.  Thanks for making me feel like I need to “Pick it up” a little.

Where do I stand on my Two and a Half Men knowledge now?  Well as of May 1st, I’ve seen maybe 60 episodes.  Sorry it took the Charlie debacle for me to watch the show.   My favorite character is Jake.  I think he’s a scene stealer.  Second favorite part of the show?  The vanity cards.  I sometimes feel like it’s me writing those vanity cards when I read them.  You’re spelling and grammar is a lot better, but the words and style feel like me.  How much of an insult is that?  I’m sorry.

Well I am done now.  Chuck, good luck with Ashton Kutcher, thanks for the inspiration, and if you ever need a nerdy radio dude to be on the show, or just work catering as we talk music, here I am.  Have a great day. 

Ted Stryker 

ps Tell Angus he rules, and tell Jon Cryer he’s going down at this years Malibu Triathlon

I’d like to tell you a little story about illegal gambling, dark glasses and a fake mustache.

The reason for me being in Vegas when I was 15 years old is irrelevant.  Let’s just say I was SO G DAMN excited for the trip I could hardly contain myself.

Facts and Figures-  At 15 I was a small and young looking dude. Zero facial hair, 5 foot 7, 130 lbs.  I looked 15 and maybe even 14.

I wanted to gamble when in Vegas.  I wanted to play Roulette, I wanted to play blackjack, I wanted to be a part of the Vegas action.  

There was only one way I could scratch the itch I had..I needed a costume that would help me look well over 21 years old.  I told my parents the plan before our trip and I still cannot believe it to this day, they gave me their blessing.  What kind of parents do I have? The pic below is not me.

In the two weeks prior to the trip, I was on a crazy mission.  I rode the public bus (RTD) all over Los Angeles to different costume stores.  I needed a fake mustache.  Just thinking about it now makes me wonder how I thought I could get away with this plan.  I guess at 15 we think we can get away with anything.

So I finally ended up in a costume store in Hollywood on Hollywood Blvd. They had the BEST fake mustaches of any I place I had been to.  I bought that great looking stache as well as a pair of dark glasses (Very similar to Robert Deniro’s glasses in Casino”).  

Now let’s get to the juicy stuff.  The timeline of the infamous night.

8pm        Dinner with parents at Caesars Palace.

955pm    Taxi Cab back to hotel. Stayed at Desert Inn (it’s now the Wynn/Encore)

1030pm  I change from very odd red sweater and jeans into my suit that I had owned since I was 13.  I wore it to my friend Larry’s Bar Mitzvah.

1041pm  I carefully put the mustache on with glue.  I also think my parents are going to step in and put their foot down.  Luckily they didn’t.

1058pm  Put on glasses and stare at myself in the mirror.  I look ridiculous.  How am I gonna pull this off?  Again, that is not me.

11pm      I take a swig of pepto bismol to calm my upset stomach.  I’d also like to point out I’m up way past my bedtime.

1102pm  I make that walk from room into casino.  WTF am i doing?  What am i gonna say if I am asked for ID?  There is a 100% chance I could be taken to the slammer.

1108pm  I find a “Change Lady” and get 20 bucks worth of quarters.

1109pm  I find the machine I want to play and I sit.  

1117pm  Still playing and NOT ONE person has said a word.

1118pm  Scoop up my quarters in a bucket, change em out and make my way to a Roulette table.  I have not seen my parents yet.  What the hell!?

1120pm-12AM  I sat there at the Roulette wheel and I kicked the wheels ass.  My 40 bucks was now over 300.  I also saw my Dad for the first time all night and he’s waving at me to stop and come to him.  I leave my chips and walk over to my Dad.

1201AM  ”Your mustache is falling off” he says.  ”It’s enough, your done” he also said.  At this point I could not and would not argue.  I wore a terrible suit, awful glasses and a fake mustache and won almost 300 bucks….and I was a little 15 year old.

To this day we all laugh about that night.  I have a feeling that in 2011 it would be a lot harder to pull off what i did.  I still love the excitement of Las Vegas.  

Thanks for reading this story.